I know of a bunch of people who love talking to an audience.
They aren't nervous before stepping on the stage. Not rushing to the washroom for the nth time before that. Not even rehearsing what they have to say.
They've just got their act together. Always.
And Q&As are their best part in any session. Of course, they get their energy from talking to others.
But I. I AM NOT THAT PERSON.
I love reading. And I love listening to other people. I contemplate and introspect a lot too.
I am brimming with ideas and things I thought, read and heard that I want to share with others.
I also day-dream a lot about being on stage, in podcasts, in discussions but that's it!
Being in one is actually a nightmare for me!
Sometimes I prep so much that I am not recalling what I know but what I've written on a piece of paper.
Sometimes I am so nervous my brain fog gives me no access to parts of me that stores all the information.
And sometimes I'm so afraid to come across as an imposter, I mask up and limit myself in the armor of being an expert whereas what I truly want to be is curious.
Despite the multiple washroom visits, prepare or not to prepare conundrum, and difficulty eating right before addressing any kind of an audience, I still continue to go after opportunities to speak to an audience. I have found the courage to work through the fear. Because somewhere it also gives me joy - of having been able to face my fear, put across my perspective, learn from others and grow.
May be it is just another journey that will add some good experiences and learning for me.
But to my mother who told me that the more I put myself out there, the more likely I will become like the people I described in the beginning of this post...no, I'm not that person.
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