Therapy is one of those things that is mostly spoken about in whispers or hushed voices. If you’re seeing a therapist, it either means you have a mental health concern or a troubled life, both of which can make you the ‘other’ person in the society. People look at you suspiciously, talk less to you and more behind your back. In worse cases, you are even prone to be ousted from your community or seen with such sympathy that you start to actually believe that something is really wrong with you just because the people with whom you crave connection are refusing to do so. But this is only one fraction of the society.
The other fraction that I was part of until a year ago has no visible stigma associated with mental health. For some reason, to this group, mental health concerns seem like something that happens to others, not any of them. Born from a lack of awareness, we believe that families and close ones can help us through all problems. I, in fact, took so much pride in my support system that I thought I would never need a therapist. Have a problem? Call my mom. Need financial support? Call sister. Want a 3 a.m. pep talk? Dial my best friend. For this group of people, including me, while stigma can’t be eliminated as a possibility, the primary reason why we often don’t consider therapy is ignorance. Thankfully, we also happen to be the group of people who can, with a little help, be easily made to see the good that therapy can bring. And that is exactly what led to my transition. A year ago, I joined the movement therapy course and was forced to be in personal therapy as part of the program’s mandate. At first, I was a bit hesitant. I continued to believe that I, of all people, wouldn’t need to see a therapist. But 10 months on, what started as an intention to only complete my course mandates has turned out to be a big blessing in my life. At this point, I can say that I have never before in my life known and accepted myself better than I do now. And it feels great! So here are a few myths that busted for me in the last few months.
1. I don’t need a therapist.
We think we don’t need a therapist because we don’t have ‘serious’ issues. Well, the truth is, you don’t have to be diagnosed with a psychological problem to meet a therapist. Therapy helps in coping with stress, grief, loss, in understanding oneself and learning to live life to the fullest. That should be a good enough reason to consult one.
2. I have my family and friends to resolve all my concerns.
Which is great! To have a support system who you can share your concerns with is a good thing. But how is therapy going to be different? For one, it is the third person perspective. For someone who is deeply involved with your life, to be unbiased is certainly not easy. A therapist is just that – the third person, not involved with your life and unbiased.
Secondly, friendly advice and wisdom are very different from a trained professional’s approach. Your therapist will have years of learning and expertise in guiding you through emotional, relational, cognitive, or behavioural struggles. Thirdly, a session of therapy is all about you and completely confidential. So, you don’t need to censor or mince your words out of the fear of judgment. At the least, a therapy session is a place where you will eventually learn to let go and be yourself. Be able to share your deepest vulnerabilities without the fear of judgment. And just that opportunity to let out your thoughts and emotions freely will bring a deep sense of relief.
3. I don’t need a third-person to help me with my challenges. I can do it myself.
So, here’s is the thing. Therapy is not for people who lack common sense. Nor does going to therapy mean you are weak in any way. The inability to resolve challenges by ourselves can seem like a character flaw. But the truth is, the courage to reach out for help from an expert is character strength. It shows your willingness to work around challenges or your desire to grow. It is as simple as going to a doctor when you are ill. You know you can self-medicate. But you would rather have an expert advise you on the best course of action.
4. My therapist is going to give me answers to my challenges.
A therapist is no magician. He/she has not got any ready answer for your challenges. All that they are going to do is support you through the process of discovering your own solutions and answers.
5. The therapist will dig up old issues and mess up my happy life.
I am generally a happy person and revisiting any issues from my past meant I would ruin my current happiness or so I thought. But what happened in the therapy sessions were, we only visited those issues that were hindering my present life in some way. And resolving those helped me find greater happiness.
6. All therapists are the same.
First and foremost, there are different types of therapy. Like, verbal or creative forms such as dance, music or art. Along with choosing what form suits you best, identifying a therapist who you can be comfortable with is also essential. Each of them has a different personality and approach. Finding your therapist can be a task, but once you have found the one, it is a lot, lot, lot better than sticking to someone who you aren’t compatible with.
Also, a psychotherapist and psychiatrist are not the same. They have different qualifications and usually, your psychotherapist (therapist) won’t prescribe medications to you unless they have the qualification (or equivalent) of a psychiatrist.
The day I walked into my therapist’s clinic, I thought I would have nothing to talk about, and today, I realize I can’t stop talking when I’m there. I have been able to identify patterns in my behavior, understand why I behave the way I do, be open to changing things about myself that are not congruent with who I am and be okay with those things that I have no control over.
I continue to be in therapy and am very happy about it, working relentlessly to this that Brene Brown summarises in her book:
“Let go of who you think you are supposed to be and embrace who you are.”
Comments